


Connor Isn't Falling Anytime Soon (Hopefully)

by FallingInAForest



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Connor the Pizza Man, M/M, Maybe this Evan guy isn't too bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2018-11-02 09:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10941537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingInAForest/pseuds/FallingInAForest
Summary: Connor needs a something. Just one thing to hold onto to keep him from breaking. But where will he find this one thing?(For Evan's Point of View, Read "Evan Tries To Make a Sound")





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! This is the thing I was talking about. I decided to just go ahead and post what I have so far today, because why not?

"Get away from me, Hansen." Connor mumbles as he pushes some boy in a blue shirt down. Not caring that he is leaving the boy behind, he walks away, trying to force himself to not look back to see if the boy is alright.

"B-but why?" Evan, the previously mentioned boy, asks, beginning to stand back up again. And that gets Connor’s attention. Usually people just stay down until he leaves, to make sure he doesn’t come back to push them again. And they definitely don’t ask why he is doing what he is doing. So what made Evan different?

"Why what?" Connor mocks, trying to sound snarky as he stops in his tracks to see the boy.

"W-why do you hate me?" Evan wonders as Connor notices how he won't look at him. He probably thinks he's a freak, just like everybody else on this damn Earth.

"I hate everyone, Hansen." Connor replies, and a laugh escapes his mouth. Just then, the bell begins to ring, and any possible forming crowd is dispersed. “It’s nothing personal.”

"I-isn't that lonely?" Evan asks, his voice getting harder for Connor to hear.

"Lonely?" Connor repeats, and for just a small, minuscule moment he forgets to hide the sadness in his voice. But that doesn't last long, because he forces out a laugh. "Of course it is. But it's none of your fucking business, Hansen. Every highschooler is lonely." Just some more than others, right?

After a moment of silence, Evan suggests, "But it doesn't have to be..." In his quietest voice yet. And then Evan looks up, right at Connor, for the first time. Connor finds himself focusing on Evan's dark blue eyes. Those goddamn eyes.

And this time, it's Connor with a delayed response. He just shakes his head, and in a whisper-like tone argues, "It's not that simple."

Immediately after he says that though, the he regrets his words, and the only thing he thinks to do to cover up his emotions is resorting back to shouting at Evan. "Never mind, you are probably just another one of those people trying to prove that I'm a psycho! Well fuck off, I think everybody already knows, find a new hobby!" I guess he'll have to wait until later to see those eyes again.

With that, Connor storms off into the distance, and he can hear Evan try to say, "N-no I-it's not like that—S-sorry I'm really s-sorry." And he almost turns back around, but he knows that some guy in a striped shirt won't help him. Nobody can, right? Or at least that's what Connor has been convincing himself. So he walks. All the way out of the school doors.

He doesn't have a plan or a place to go. If he goes home, his mom will surely be there, and he'll be sent back to school. So he walks. And walks and walks, until he finds himself at the park near his house. One of the ones with slides and benches, one of which he sits on, and all of the things that used to seem fun. Due to school and work still being in session, it's empty. Other than him of course.

But that's not different than usual. He's always been alone. His dad is constantly yelling, his mother acts like they have a perfect family and covers up anything that might suggest that they aren't. So when he announced his homosexuality, that wasn't exactly welcomed.

And yes, there's Zoe. But he fucked that up a long time ago. That one was his fault, he admits it. He's always been a bitch to her since she's the family favorite. Sometimes he thinks that if only he could take it back… Or apologize… That maybe, just _maybe_ something could be different. Maybe even better…

But Connor knows better than to hold on to hope. In the end, none of this will even matter. Time will pass by, and everyone will die, and no one will remember his name. Or anyone's. We're all just pretending this counts or life is important or that mattering to someone matters. Cause when we're all dead, what's the point, right? Except Connor can't stop himself from going along with everyone else's view every now and then. That it all counts somehow.

In the middle of his thought, he feels something vibrate in his pocket. When he pulls out his phone, a message appears on the screen. It was a reminder to go to work, even though school wasn't quite out yet, Connor sometimes skipped the last hour to go in early. But he didn't have his car with him, and would without a doubt arrive late. _Shit_.


	2. Connor the Pizza Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor goes to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might as well post this before my power goes out again. Enjoy! (Hopefully)

When Connor reaches his work, he is mostly out of breath, since he was speed walking the entire way from the park to Dominos. By the time he gets there though, he is already five minutes late, thank goodness there's a 10-minute grace period. He clocks in, and grabs his uniform to change into in the back. You may be asking, why would someone from a somewhat rich family like Connor Murphy need a job at this age? Well, you see, perfect parents from perfect families didn't exactly give their perfect kids drug money, and that was what Connor wanted. At least he was responsible about it and got a job, right? Actually, two jobs. 

By the time he is all suited up, there's a large mushroom pizza ready for him to deliver, along with another order or two. Sighing, he grabs them and the addresses and heads to the Domino's car. 

The first delivery was to an old woman who couldn't comprehend the amount of money it costed for a pizza, and wasn't aware that it was polite to tip. 

The second delivery went better, where the man who answered the door payed right away, already knowing the cost, and tipped exactly 20%, but at least that was better than the first delivery. 

The third one must've been for a party, because they had bought 6 pizzas, and whenever Connor answered the door, music was blaring and a couple was making out in the driveway. 

Since he was done dropping off all of those orders, he drove back to work for another round. Connor could tell that this would be a dreary work shift, especially because of how tough it had already started out, and was hoping that it would just end already. 

But dread wasn't a good look for a worker, so he had to ignore that. And that meant delivering another three orders of pizzas, the consistency soothing Connor in a way. Because consistency is steady. And steady is nice. 

For the first delivery of the set, it was some teenage girl that answered the door. She gave a good tip. And the second of the round was answered by an old man, who couldn't hear. With that, Connor had to use his hands to signal the cost. 

But the third order. That was a singular large pizza, and when he rang the bell he didn't expect anything unusual. So he just began to say “That'll be $11.24.” In his usual monotone voice. And when Connor looks up, he sees the one and only Evan Hansen. “You again…”

"Connor... I, uh, didn't know you worked here." Evan says to him. And then he looks up, and Connor remembers why he liked those blue eyes so much. 

"Considering that you don't know me, that's not really a shocker." Connor says, rolling his eyes, pretending to seem impatient. "Are you going to take your pizza or not?"

"O-oh. Right." Evan says, and Connor can see him fumbling as he pulls out a $20. In turn, he hands Evan the pizza, and Evan then says, "You don't have to be rude you know."

"Are you suggesting I be nice to you?" Connor began to laugh, but deep down that kindof stung. He then follows that up with, "Yeah. You clearly don't know me."

"It was just a suggestion." Evan replies, in what Connor can assume is his normal quiet voice. "Oh, uh, you can keep the change."

"Great. Whatever." Connor says, and turns to leave. If he is forced to stand here with Evan any longer, he'll start to scream. Between the eyes and the annoying personality, Evan is full of contradicting qualities. Some of which, just like the eyes, Connor finds… Intriguing. 

"Well, uh, see you at school." Connor can hear Evan call out. 

"If I'm even there." Connor retorts, and keeps walking until he’s in the Dominos car with nothing left to do but think. As he does so, he hears a second voice from within the Hansen Household. 

"Wow. "The loud voice calls. "I've always pegged him as a Papa Johns guy, but Domino's? Never even crossed my mind as a possibility." And that makes a chuckle come out of Connor’s throat. That second voice, who Connor could only assume was Jared since Evan had sort of a lack in friends, was right. 

\---

When Connor was done with his shift, he headed home. Home to where most of his problems were. 

As he entered the house, his mother looked up to him from the kitchen table, and said. “Honey, I got a phone call saying that you skipped part of your schoolday again today.”

Groaning, Connor mutters back. “Uh-huh.” And proceeds to his room, his mom sighing as he does so. You may be thinking, why would Connor further push his unhappiness by ignoring his mom and yelling back at his dad and still ruining it with Zoe? Because there was a point when he tried to stop doing that. There was a point when he tried to be the perfect son. But you can't be perfect and Connor Murphy. Because no matter how hard he tried, they treated him the same. So he stopped trying with his parents. Zoe was a different matter. 

In his room, he locked the door and sat on his bed to think. Think and… Draw. Ever since he had seen Evan this morning, he had had this weird urge to draw him. So he opened his sketchbook, flipped open to the next open page, right after a drawing of a tree, and drew.


	3. Connor Murphy's Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor really isn't feeling the whole school thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people have been asking me when I'm going to post the next chapter of The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman, and since I'm at a stalemate with some of the possible directions I could take it, I thought hey, what is nobody asking for? And I delivered.

And the next morning when Connor heard the sound his alarm clock, he didn't press snooze. Instead he took full initiative and unplugged it altogether, deciding to go back to sleep. Connor was not in the mood for school today, just like most days. The only reason he ever went was so his parents wouldn't totally flip.

When Connor finally woke up for real, it was around 10:30. He knew the house was empty, with Zoe at school, his dad at work and his mom at some get-together, so he didn't feel the need to seem productive.

When Connor decided that it wasn't too late for breakfast, he threw on a shirt and walked to the fridge. When he opened it, he wasn't impressed. The milk was almost gone, and they were out of pepper jack cheese, which put a damper on his hope for a decent lunch. But of course, they had slices of cheddar. Who the fuck even likes cheddar cheese?

Regardless, Connor decided that breakfast was overrated anyway, especially because he couldn't find anything that resembled a good breakfast food, and grabbed the milk, chugging the minuscule amount that remained.

Today was Connor's ultimate day off. No work, whether he was scheduled or not, which for the record, he wasn't, and no school. But most importantly no boys with blue eyes to ruin his perfectly fabricated image as the freaky school psychopath. As Jared implied, Connor even had the hair to back it. On second thought, maybe that isn't the best image to have. But at least it keeps every emotion other than anger away.

Besides, Connor was so good at acting he even had Zoe convinced it was true. Damn, he even had himself convinced. Is that when it becomes more than an act?

Connor sighs, refusing to have an existential crisis while holding an empty gallon of milk. So he drops it in the recycling bin, and heads to his room, which is a much more suitable place. And once he cozies into his bed, his brain decides that it's a perfect time to reminisce on all of the good times. Like when he got high and ruined his chances of having a family that loved him, or when all he did was be himself, aka a homosexual, and got kicked out of the house for a week.

Wow. Today was starting out wonderfully for Connor, which made him think that staying at home wouldn't be his best idea after all. So he got ready to leave, and hopped in his car, without a plan on where to go.

That was a thing he did often. Just drive and see where he ends up. And today, he ended up in his happy place. It was an old orchard, and basically just a field with trees, but to Connor it meant so much more. The only place he could ever remember being happy at.

Back when a perfect family wasn't make-believe. When he and Zoe would chase each other around, laughing. And his parents would stand aside smiling as if their kids made them proud.

It was pathetic. Connor knew that. Holding on to a few minor details as the only thing keeping him here. But if that's what worked, so be it. It was better than the alternative. At least that's what Connor was trying to convince himself.

And when Connor arrived today, and he sat facing the same tree as always, he knew something had to change. He couldn't keep living all alone like this. Depending on a stupid memory. But he didn't even know where to start. Zoe would be a dead end, no doubt about it. So who? Who could he open up to?

I guess that was the thing about being alone. It's not just a situation you can suddenly decide to opt out of. Yet Connor decided this very day that he would try. Maybe that didn't mean succeeding, but that did mean effort would be put forth at the very least. He didn't want to be lonely anymore.

\---

“Connor, we’re going grocery shopping.” Zoe insists after she looks in the fridge.

“Agreed.” Connor mumbles, not even trying to argue. Food won't buy itself.

“And don't even try to argue it's what you get after-” Zoe begins, but realizes her mistake. “Oh. Sweet.”  
  
“What can I say?” Connor shrugs. “I'm feeling agreeable today.”

\---  
  
When the siblings arrived at the store, they verbally went through their shopping list, because neither of them had had the decency of writing it down to make it easier for the both of them.

“Bagels.” Zoe states, because bagels are adored in the Murphy household due to their brilliant flavor, especially when paired with the luxurious cream cheese. In other words, bagels are pretty good.

“Pepper Jack Cheese.” Connor insists, since he refuses to settle for mere cheddar or American.

Zoe makes a face at that, but adds. “Milk, since you decided to finish it all today.”

“Oh come on, there wasn't even a cups worth left.” Connor argues, but knows that it isn't a match for Zoe's stubbornness, and instead of pondering on who's fault it was that they would have to pick up milk, he continues their list. “Ketchup.”

“Does anyone in the house even use ketchup?” She wonders in reply.

“Honestly, I think it's the goblins under the table.” Connor says, continuing their stupid childhood joke.

“Damn goblins.” Zoe fake complains, smiling as she picks up the first item on their list, bagels.

And Connor smiles too. And sometimes that's all it takes for the day to be worth it. A small exchanging of smiles between siblings in a local grocery store.

Next up is the key ingredient to a Connor Murphy sandwich: pepper jack cheese. Yeah, maybe to some people bread is the main thing, but they’re obviously not Connor Murphy. And so Connor grabs a package, finally feeling as if everything was right in the world of cheeses.

As they turn to the milk aisle, someone barrels into Connor’s shoulder, and before he can react, a quick but unmistakable “S-sorry.” Is heard. And sure enough, standing in front of Connor once again, is Evan, someone Connor can't help but to endlessly think about. Stupid milk. If only Zoe had left more of it so Connor wouldn't have had to finish it all. Because if she had, then they wouldn't be in this situation.

"Of course it had to be you." Connor grumbles. It's not the fact that Evan was there that angered Connor, but it was the fact that Evan was very noticeably making eyes at his sister, which left Connor to attempt to convince himself that his brotherly instincts were kicking in, and he was one hundred percent not jealous at all.

"What he means is sorry." Zoe says, obliviously smiling at Evan, and then glaring at Connor, who glared back. "He's not very good at saying that."

"O-oh, it was my fault anyway, I wasn't watching where I was going and-" Evan begins to ramble, before Connor hears someone cut off his speech.

"This must be good." Jared, Evans shitty family friend says, viewing the situation while carrying an alarming amount of pineapples.

"Oh great, you're here too." Connor says, as if that makes everything in life worse, since everything about Jared seemed to set Connor off. Jared and Connor had this mutual rivalry, where they just hated each other without a reason behind it.

"Connor." Zoe says while crossing her arms, in a voice that hints at her patience being lost. "How many times do I have to tell you to be nice? Or at least nicer?"

"And how many times do I have to tell you that you're not my mom?" Connor retorts as Zoe kicks him once in the shin, feeling pain shoot up his leg. Zoe kicked hard.

"I'd hate to interrupt this interesting sibling rivalry, but we've got to go." Jared says, managing to check his watch even with his three pineapples in his arms.

"Sorry you had to see that." Zoe apologizes to the both of them, uncrossing her arms. "See you at school I guess."

With that, Evan nods and leaves with Jared as Connor begins to complain about the pain in his leg.

  
“ _Shit_ that hurts. Don't be surprised if you have to carry me out.”

“You deserve it. You really could learn to be nicer to everyone. Especially Evan, he's a really good guy.” Zoe insists, and Connor knows she's right.

“I hate it when you're right.” Connor admits without thinking. Evan is a good guy, but why did that mean Connor should be nice to him?

“And what are you going to do about it?” Zoe presses, and Connor realizes that maybe he hasn't lost her after all.

Connor sighs. “I'm gonna try to fix it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was pretty sucky bear with me please


	4. Looks Like Connor Wasn't The One Falling This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go the way Connor expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I'll probably try to get this one caught up to Evan's point of view before I advance Evan's.

"Connor! Where are you going?" Connor hears, knowing that those words can only belong to one person: Evan Hansen. 

"I'm leaving." Connor replies nonchalantly. 

"You can't do that." Evan says, uncertain. "Right?" 

"Well, I showed up, and now I don't want to be here anymore, so I'm leaving." Connor shrugs. "What's it to you?"

"Imeaniknowtechnicallyyoucanleave,butthatsabaddesicionright?" Evan says, jumbling all of his words together, making it hard for Connor to understand what he's saying. 

"Speak up." Connor complains, annoyed. "Nobody can hear you or even understand you for that matter. Besides, why are you so obsessed with what I'm doing?"

"S-sorry. And I'm not obsessed." Evan protests. "You just seem sad so-"

"Oh god. I'm your charity case." Connor says as the realization dawns on him, rolling his eyes in bewilderment at the idea. "Fine. Leave with me then."

"Wait? But didn't you just hear me say that that's a very very bad idea?" Evan says, and steps away from Connor. 

"It's the same as sitting in the hallway and skipping class.” Connor argues, "Just more fun."

"Okay, I guess." Evan begins, not hiding the nervousness in his voice. "But what if we get caught and where would we even go andwhatifwegotojailicantgotojail."

That brought Connor to stare at Evan with a chuckle forming in his throat. "Are you going or what?" He challenges, and turns to leave, knowing that Evan will give in. 

"F-fine!" Connor hears, and let's Evan catch up to him. 

Connor then walks to the parking lot, and stops at his van. Then he looks to Evan to say something, before seeing his terrified expression. The kid was scared of a car for crying out loud, which made him wonder if it was worth it to be nice to him. 

"Relax. Get in." Connor says, deciding to try it anyway. 

"Y-yeah okay sorry." Evan says, and Connor watches him attempt to climb in the car. By attempt, Connor means that Evan totally hit his head getting in. 

"How'd you even break your arm anyway?" Connor asks, forcing a conversation topic so he doesn't make fun of Evan instead. Yeah, he was trying to be nice. So what? 

"Oh, well, it's a funny story actually." Evan says, "I fell out of a tree." 

"That might as well be the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard." Connor states. Whelp. He tried. But c'mon, who just falls out of a tree like that? "How come nobody has signed your cast?"

"Well, you see, nobody has offered?" Evan says, looking down, embarrassed. And Connor gets an idea. 

"Do you have a sharpie?" He asks, still not beginning to drive. 

"O-oh y-yeah it's uh right here." Evan says, fumbling to pull it out of his pocket. When it's handed to Connor, he writes 'CONNOR' in gigantic letters across the cast. 

Connor doesn't apologize, but instead says in an outrageous tone, "Now we both can pretend we have friends." And finally begins to drive. 

"Where are we going anyway?" Evan wonders after they pull out of the parking lot, and Connor realizes that he should probably figure that out as well. 

"Want to grab a scoop at A La Mode?" Connor suggests. 

"Oh. Y-yeah A La Mode sounds good." Evan replies, but Connor can tell that he had no clue what A La Mode actually was. 

"It's an ice cream shop." He clarifies. "My parents used to take me there on the way to some place a long time ago."

"Oh. B-but I don't have any-" Evan begins, and Connor has to remind himself not to punch Evan. 

"Don't." Connor warns, silencing Evan mid-sentence. 

"What?" Evan asks, confused as to why his sentence was cut off. 

"Don't make me have to offer you money so I seem like a decent person." He further elaborates. "Just pretend like it's free, and don't thank me."

"But why don't you want to seem like a decent person?" Evan asks, and Connor has to take a deep breath so he doesn't get violent due to Evan's constant questions.  
Evan was starting to remind Connor of those annoying little kids that kept asking ‘Why?’ Or ‘How?’ without end. 

"Because i'm not one and I don't plan on ever being one." Connor states as if he didn't want that to change. 

"But-" Evan begins, but Connor cuts him off once again. 

"Evan Hansen, I will pull this car over and leave you stranded if you don't drop it." Connor threatens, and then feels like an idiot because he sounds like an angry dad just like his father, who he definitely doesn't want to be anything like. 

With that, Evan only replies to Connor with a nod. 

"Does drive-thru suffice?" Connor asks, trying to change the topic, and then changes his mind. "Nevermind, we're doing that anyway. Does vanilla sound good? Great." 

After getting their order of two vanilla ice cream cones, Connor pulls into a parking space so he can eat his, and notices Evan pull out his phone to text someone, but Connor couldn't see who before it was put away. 

"Off to our next destination." Connor declares after finishing his ice cream. "Why am I doing this again?" He asks aloud, realizing that he doesn't know the answer. 

"To get me off your back?" Evan suggests. 

"That sounds about right." Connor agrees, and starts driving. 

"So what is this next destination anyway?" Evan asks.

"Its really not much of anything." Connor says, suddenly getting embarrassed without knowing why. "Just a field with a bunch of trees."

"I like trees." Evan blatantly states. 

"That is so fucking weird." Connor says, but is secretly thankful for just that as he stops the car. And then they're there. At Connor's happy place. They find themselves sitting by Connor's usual tree stump, that he probably mentally nicknamed Ricky or something like that, and has to remind himself to be grumpy like usual instead of as awkward as he was acting now. 

"What do you keep in the bag?" Evan asks after a while, pointing to his bag that he always keeps on him. 

Connor bites his lip as if he were debating on telling the truth or a lie. In the end, Connor decides on the truth. "Sketchbooks."

"You draw?" Evan asks... impressed? No. That's not how people are. He's probably just trying to make fun of him. Connor wasn't sure how Evan would connect drawing to Connor being a psychopath confirmed, but there isn't a point in doubting a potential school bullies ability to do so. 

"I knew it was a bad idea to answer-" Connor begins. 

"No, really. I think it's cool-" Evan reassures. "Can I maybe see one?"

"Wait." Connor says, completely confused. "You want to see one of my sketches?" That sure wasn't what he expected. 

"Yeah, of course." Evan replies. Evan is not a school bully confirmed. 

"Fine." Connor guesses. It can only hurt a lot with a negative reaction. Regardless, he opens up the bag and pulls out his sketchbook. Flipping through the pages, he stops when he reaches one he's proud of. It's a drawing of one of the trees in this field, that he did while sitting in the same spot he was in now. He had tried to make it really detailed, but in his opinion didn't do it justice. 

"Woah." Evan says, staring at it. "That's...amazing."

"It's literally just a tree." Connor mumbles, trying not to accept the compliment. Accepting the compliment would only make things worse in the long run. Because it would make him think he was worth something, so when he's undoubtedly reminded that he's not, it'll actually hurt. Which is not at all what Connor wants. 

"No, this is a masterpiece." Evan argues, pointing out the little details in it. And then he says something else. "Your parents must be proud."

"I've never showed anyone." Connor states, trying to steer the conversation away from his parents. 

"You haven't?" Evan asks, confused. "But this is great-"

"I can scribble down something that resembles a tree. Big deal. It's not like I'm producing oxygen or anything that actually matters." Connor says harshly, accidentally letting his thoughts flood into his speech. 

To that, Evan stares at Connor. And Connor knows he screwed up once again. At least now he's starting to understand why his family hates him. 

"I didn't mean to yell." Connor whispers. 

"It's okay." Evan says quietly, looking at the ground, handing the sketchbook back to Connor, who doesn't say anything, as he does so. 

"I think it matters." Evan says as a continuation of his previous statement, watching Connor put the sketchbook away. 

Then Connor gives Evan a look. A look of gratitude perhaps. Or maybe it was just a look. 

"I want to climb a tree." Connor decides out of nowhere, breaking the forming silence, which makes him want to punch himself, because he's asking a kid, who broke his arm by falling off of a tree, to climb a tree. With the cast still on. 

"Y-yeah, okay." Evan agrees, which obviously shocks Connor. And all he can wonder is why in the world Evan is agreeing to this.

And so they walk across the yellow field. Until they reach a tree, where the two immediately start climbing. To Connor's surprise, Evan doesn't hesitate, even with his broken arm. So they climb. One foot after the other. One branch and then to another. The usual stuff. Occasionally however, he glances at Evan, who glances back, the both of them attempting not to make eye contact while they keep climbing higher and higher until Connor feels the Sun's heat on his face.

Somewhere along the way though, Evan must've misstepped or something, and Connor sees the branch Evan is standing on begin to break. Connor hesitates for a second, before seeing fear in Evan's eyes. The eyes he was looking into weren't ones of someone who's fallen like that before. So Connor reaches out a hand, and grabs Evan to keep him from falling. And everything was... Okay. Connor had stopped Evan from falling. He did something right for once. And for a moment, the two boys were frozen in time, breathing heavily looking straight at one another, Connor's hand being the only thing keeping Evan from falling. To Connor, it was like a perfect scene from a movie. And then he makes eye contact with Evan, and it suddenly dawns on him what scene of the movie is occurring. 

Panicking from both of his realizations, Connor steadies Evan on a good branch, and climbs down from the tree, this time Connor watches Evan cautiously, so he doesn't fall. 

When Evan thanks Connor for catching him, Connor doesn't reject his gratitude like before. He nods. Because if Evan hadn't fallen before, then that meant… Well, that changed a lot then. It made Evan that much more dangerous for Connor to get involved with. 

They don't do much after that. They mostly just walk. Occasionally talk as well, but the conversations always come to a quick end, followed by some sort of silence conjured up by Connor. Eventually, they reached the car, but Connor doesn't begin to drive. He needs to know the truth before he does. 

"Can you tell me something?" He asks, his words struggling to be clear, looking at Evan's cast as they became clearer. "Did you fall when you broke your arm? Or did you let go?"

But Evan doesn't reply. Instead, he just looks out the window of the van. 

"Because when you fell today, I saw your eyes, and they looked scared like you've never fallen before." Connor's voice was strong now, forcing the topic on Evan. 

And with that, Evan doesn't really have a choice but to nod. 

"Then maybe we're more alike then I thought." Connor mumbles to himself, but Evan hears it. Just barely.

On the way home, neither of the boys seemed to want to talk, and the winding country road gladly seemed to provide that necessary mutual silence for them. 

After dropping Evan off, Connor finally got to think about what had happened. His aim for the day had been to get someone to simply not hate him. Instead, he revealed to them that he was a suicidal freak and acquired feelings for them, while realizing that they were also suicidal. Great. You really nailed that one Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating much anymore. Things have been tense here, and I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something or I'm messing it up, but either way thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> So!! Did I ruin the story? Is this decent? Am I doing the whole Connor thing okay?


End file.
